People, I just don't know what to think. One minute I feel like I'm just whining and I'm ready to move on, the next I just can't get a grip. Why do these effect us the way they do? What can we learn from them? What about myself? What of our own personal fears, insecurities, questions? Cheers. 5838798daniel millerSaturday, September 22, 2001Today I'm halfway recovered from fear. I might be all the way but we reviewed the budget to day and realized we can't really live more simply than we do. Best we could do is move to a cheaper house, but that would actually be difficult to find in the places we would like to move to! (Sorry North Dakota is out!) So I'm choosing to go about my life as normal now. I watched a movie last night that was set in new york, and featured plenty of skyline shots, which pissed me off because the skyline doesn't look like that anymore. I've always had a psychic connection with nyc, mostly because of its artistry, but also because of it mutliculturalality. I'm sure I'm not feeling this blow as much as others, but I am certainly feeling it. How do we know any of us will survive? Fear can take us on at any level. Thanks <a href="http://www.goodthink.com/">Combs </a>for some encouragment today. more later 5828758daniel millerFriday, September 21, 200111:26. wait, 11:26? what the? I have to get ready for my day and DO something! I've been really down this morning. Fear. The economy. Our future is up in the air as it is already. Faith. Need to find some but it was shakey to start with. Forget about it now. I need to find myself some encouragement. I played guitar this morning. "Crazy" by Seal. "Sing" by Travis. "Everything's Not Lost" by Coldplay. Now all three of those records are in the player. It's only life support, though. I'm still in a coma. What drug do you suggest? Started reading "Invisible Monsters" by Chuck P. last night. It's pretty cool. I also have a book on storytelling that I want to work through for my <a href="http://nonlinear.blogspot.com">project</a>. I think we have made $0.00 in our fundraising efforts, and now I'm telling people to give to the tragedy relief charities instead of us. But I still don't know if we could make it as artists/creators/whatever. The pictures of the people in the WTC climbing out of the windows and jumping still haunt me. How bad must have it been up there for them to choose to jump? I can't imagine. Better to be in the plane than in the building on those floors that weren't completely destroyed immediately. The thing that really devastates me is that when you see them moving there, out of the window with smoke bellowing out of them, you realize that those are real people just like us. They were alive with life, hope, and love one minute and gone the next. This morning I had a day-mare about being the person in first class they said had their throat slit by the hijackers. I've been in first class a couple of times in my business flights because I was bumped up for one reason or another, and every time I feel so lucky and happy that God smiled on me that day, with a decent airplane meal and some leg and arm room. I would say I can't imagine, but I did imagine, being drug from my seat and having my throat slit before I had a chance to even defend myself. I'm a big guy, but I've never been attacked before and I have no idea how I would respond. I would probly be so shocked I wouldn't immediately defend myself if the attacker was quick enough. The weekend before all this I saw the Mexican (I give it **; not worth it) and Brad Pitt takes a gun on an airplane by putting it in tin foil and putting it in a lunch box. Please tell me this is absolute fiction. How are they going to train these new "air marshalls?" What if somebody is holding someone in front of them with a knife to their throat? In that small space, what are you going to do? And I am personally not going to feel more safe knowing there are actually guns on board. What if someone gets them away from the marshal? Ok I have to stop. I have to get positive. I have to do something. Goodbye. 5804429daniel millerThursday, September 20, 2001For those who don't like my site, I'm sorry I forgot the part of the site where you can post your whiney-assed little comments. So shove it! 5795241daniel millerWednesday, September 19, 2001Went to the boca museum of art today and was having a good old time until some guy who must volunteer for the museum came up to us (it was three of us) and proceeded to lecture us on the art. Since when do I look like a first grader? Since when is art about knowledge? -D 5794655daniel millerthis is great. it's like archived free association. how cul. 5789674daniel millerhey 553 and i've already wasted another afternoon tired as shit from setting my alarm. saw the new coldplay and radiohead videos, though. i've been listening to 'everything in its right place' -even though that's not the video i saw- all afternoon because it's going to be in my next installation. i've also been listening to elliot smith alot because i'm convinced there's a couple of songs of his i want to use. today m was sick physically and of life. so it kinda wore off. how do translate life in the wake of last week anyway? it's already wearing off and i feel like shit for that? and since when do our troop movements become the evening news? i have a terrible feeling vietnam is going to seem like daycare compared to this one. speaking of elliot smith, scott i'm done with all your cd's don't forget to get them from me i hate having people's stuff for too long... ciao -d 5789645daniel millerhey this is just where i'm going to put my random thoughts. right now i think i'd better do something else besides type to this. just a thought. hey scott thanks for the shirts and shorts. i'm wearing an ensemble -how the hell do you spell that word anyhow?- from the gravatt surf collection. too bad amazon doesn't sell used clothes. doh! a business idea. oh shit it's too much work. ciao for now. d 5786178daniel miller